Siblings Spilling Tea
We’re Cass and Bobby, a sister and brother duo from Las Vegas. Our episodes flow through many topics, and we have skits called Espresso Shots. Let's laugh together!
Siblings Spilling Tea
Zero Point Zero (Ep.29)
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Have you been to a gathering? A gathering of juggalos, that is. Did you think we meant Magic The Gathering? Nothing magic about a gathering. Oh, by the way, do you know Jovian? He's not a juggalo. He's Zoboomafoo. Also, try to sleep peacefully when a roach and a snake are fighting to eat you. We hope your mug is ready for this one!
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Welcome, welcome to Zis Show. I am your host, Bobby.
SPEAKER_02I'm your host, Cass.
SPEAKER_04Welcome to Siblings Spilling Zis Tea.
SPEAKER_02Siblings spelling tea.
SPEAKER_04Um, thank you for uh tuning in and we're with all the podcasts.
SPEAKER_02We're on everything, we're everywhere. Yes. Look for us.
SPEAKER_04We're like a deity.
SPEAKER_02We're your favorite deities. You need to listen, you need to enjoy.
SPEAKER_04So we're gonna jump right into it, Cass. The rehearsal.
SPEAKER_02That's what the fucker jumped right in. Okay, well, we first need to maybe let our listeners know what we're talking about. Because some of you may not know out there, there's a show. Not everybody has HBO Max. If you don't have the service, don't bother getting it. Because after we tell you what we're gonna tell you, you're not gonna want it. So no, it's just kidding. HBO Max is wonderful. There's a show on there called The Rehearsal. Right. Now, at first, when I saw the little clip for this show on HBO Max, I thought, okay, it looks kind of funny, like maybe something to do with like puppets or something. You know, this guy rehearses funny things. I'm like, all right, all right, Bobby told me about this. I'm like, let me check this out. Okay, um it's not at all what I thought it would be. It's an odd show of an odd man, the host, that goes and helps odd people do odd shit. I think that sums it up pretty well. Well, I think he's give me a little bit of mati, yeah.
SPEAKER_04But he he set up like a situation. So yeah, it's a it's a show where he helps people prepare for things.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But he set up a situation, you know, or situations for people that, you know, they can't.
SPEAKER_02Well, we'll focus on the first show. Okay. We won't give away too much, but he basically replicates every part of this man's life that he intends on helping. So the man has a secret that he needs to reveal to a good friend of his that he's been keeping from her. And the host, Nathan Fielder, he goes and recreates the bar, the actual bar that this guy is going to reveal his secret at. I mean, down to like little weird nuances in the bar where there's like a deflated balloon in the corner. There's like weird pictures that are, you know, off kilter. Like it's fucking crazy. He's got a warehouse that he rebuilds this bar, he rebuilds the guy's apartment, so he knows exactly like what he's getting into.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Now you ask, how how did he know? Like, how did he get into his apartment without the guy knowing? He lies and hires these people saying that there's a gas leak or something in this man's apartment.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So they go in with like small cameras. So the guy has no idea what's going on. He just thinks that maybe there's a gas leak. But these people are in there actually getting a whole view, you know. I mean, getting a whole picture of the place. They're casing the place. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05They can replicate it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It's the craziest fucking thing. And so Bobby told me about this. I'm like, I don't know how much of it is actually real and how much of it is fake. Because it's just so awkward. And the guys are so socially awkward that it's painful to watch.
SPEAKER_04Now, wait a minute. Did you have you ever heard of Nathan Fielder before before? Okay. Would you like to hear of Nathan Fielder after this experience?
SPEAKER_02No.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02No, honestly, like you said, and he does say in that first episode that he had another show on another network. And um I I'm not familiar with him at all, but he's an extremely socially awkward guy. And here he is trying to help people through their awkward situations. Well, yeah. And it's the funniest shit ever. It's like I, you know, it's the blind leading the blind. I don't see how this is gonna work.
SPEAKER_04Well, yeah, I don't I don't understand how um I don't know how involved the people that he gets to be on the show are because it kind of seems like, you know, they're there some in some episodes he does things with people that they say they're actors, but uh on the first episode, like you said, fucking actor. On the first episode, that guy that he's helping with, and and he has like the most innocent secret that he's been harboring that it's like he's gonna be.
SPEAKER_02And we won't say it because we don't want to ruin it in case if you are interested in seeing this, which I would say at least watch like the first 10 minutes and see how you feel about it. You might want to keep watching as we did just trying to feel this out. But yeah, it's the most innocent thing. It's not even a big deal.
SPEAKER_04No, but well, they do um he takes the man takes his uh uh Thursday night um what what the fuck is it called? Like uh trivia.
SPEAKER_02Trivia, yeah. So yeah. He goes to this bar every Thursday night for a trivia night, and he's in a group of people who do trivia. But one of the people in the group, he's really concerned about that when he reveals the secret, she's gonna be really upset.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I guess they've been friends for 20 years, he said, and he just won't ruin a 20-year friendship, but he's not sure how to go about revealing the secret without ruining the friendship.
SPEAKER_04So Nathan built a bar that is the exact replica of the bar that this is going to take place in, like you said, and he got a stand-in that looks like the friend.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and he hires people. I mean, he replicates everything for to rehearse exactly how the situation should go down.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And he stands there with his laptop. He's got this really silly getup with the laptop. He's got like a whole like what he like a strap that goes around them. It's too much. But he's watching and observing everything that is going on, everything that the guy is saying to the hired actress. It's supposed to be his friend. You know, he's rehearsing what he's gonna say to her, and he's making like a whole script for the guy. So that way it's can be foolproof when he actually the guy actually sits down with his real friend.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And they even plan for like what if the table is taken when he gets to the bar, like the actual bar that night. You know, what if you know the waitress comes over when he's trying to reveal his secret? I mean, it's just fucking something else. Like I've never seen it like this before. And it's just, but I really can't tell, is this fully real or have they like dramatized some of this? I don't think so because I mean not, because I just feel like, you know, remember when it was like, oh, 2012, the world's supposed to end in 2000, maybe it should have. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_04Oh boy. What does that have to do with his rehearsals, though?
SPEAKER_02Well, because if the world would have ended, we wouldn't have to deal with this now.
SPEAKER_04That's true. That is true. I guess you have a point there. Oh, okay. Wow, thank you. You know, by the way, you are sitting again in the CEO chair.
SPEAKER_02Now I'm the CEO of this fucking joint.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, of course you of course I wait.
SPEAKER_02Oh, God. Okay, I'm back. Oh. I don't know what came over me.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. It's just that chair is. You gotta be the CEO chair. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Every time. I don't know. I just slip into this really crazy persona.
SPEAKER_04At least you didn't ask for any ding-dongs this time, though.
SPEAKER_02Not yet.
SPEAKER_04Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02And I'm not talking about those little stupid fucking cakes with the cream in them. Oh my god. Talking about real cream, buddy.
SPEAKER_04Oh my God. Jesus. The cast executive officer strikes again.
SPEAKER_02Of course. You thought CEO meant chief executive officer. Uh uh. Cass executive officer. For wild. But yeah, so to wrap that up, check it out. If you have HBO Max, if you don't look it up uh maybe on YouTube, maybe there's clips of it.
SPEAKER_04Get somebody's password.
SPEAKER_02Get somebody's password, yeah. Because, you know, I mean, sharing is caring. Right.
SPEAKER_04Would you ever, if Nathan Fielder approached you and said, Hey, would you like to be on the rehearsal, would you take him up on it? No. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Which in the next episode, well, that's a lot to even get into. The second episode is even more wild than the first. Like it's just I don't I don't get it.
SPEAKER_04It is a new, it is a new concept, though. I mean, there's nobody else that's ever that hasn't happened on the Twilight Zone or The Simpsons or No, no, none of these wild uh or these shows that yeah, propose like, you know, wild stuff, you know, ideas.
SPEAKER_02Uh it's definitely different. Well, you can say that. But what about uh what else you got on the Dais?
SPEAKER_04We got on the Dais. We got uh Oh, we wanted to say that The Walking Dead, they're doing like a thing with that where it's like uh um instead they were supposed to do movies with what's his name? Andrew Lincoln. Andrew Andy Lincoln.
SPEAKER_02Andy Lincoln.
SPEAKER_04But I guess they're gonna give him a spin-off series, maybe with Michonne. I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_02So now did they say why did they cancel these movies though?
SPEAKER_04I don't think they were ever making them to begin with. I think they just said that to like be like to keep us hanging on, right?
SPEAKER_02Like there's gonna we're gonna see them again, these characters.
SPEAKER_04Yes. And then um at the what was it called? The oh, is it the Comic Con convention where they brought out the losers go? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Oh, just kidding. Just kidding. I would go to a Comic Con. The opportunity has not presented itself, but I would go.
SPEAKER_04Your favorite Scott M. Gimple brought out Andy Lincoln and Deny Guerrilla.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Which uh Deny Gorilla, aka Michonne. Uh, I don't know how she's gonna have time for Andy Lincoln. I seen her over there in the previews. Uh, she's in that new Wakanda Forever movie. Oh my goodness. So she's busy over there in uh Wakanda.
SPEAKER_04Oh my goodness. I mean, is she gonna have time to get back to Georgia to be involved? Well, isn't isn't Atlanta Wakanda too? It is? I guess so.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I didn't know. I guess so.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Wakanda Forever. Thank you.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_02We'll get into I saw the preview for that as uh we were waiting to watch Thor Love and Thunder. Oh first, let's talk about Andy Lincoln.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_02I mean, do you really think though, I mean, he's done with this shit?
SPEAKER_04I don't know, because he uh well, a lot of on a lot of shows they if they go for like eight, nine, see ten seasons, always like usually the person that plays the main character or like a crucial part of the show will just be like, oh yeah, I wanna I wanna explore what else is out there. But the show is still doing good.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So I think I've always thought that that was like, you know, like a uh a thing that either like somebody tells them to do, to be like, oh yeah, we're gonna have to ax you off the show. But if anybody asks, just say, you know, you're you're moving on or something.
SPEAKER_10If anybody acts.
SPEAKER_04If anybody acts. Basically, if anybody acts, like just tell them that like you got shit to do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Listen, I got other shit to do.
SPEAKER_04You got some shit to do.
SPEAKER_02That's requiring of my attention. I need this.
SPEAKER_04Ah. Um, so yeah, so that'll be cool to see. And then they're gonna wrap up the show uh pretty soon here. What in the next month or you know, the next month.
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's still going? I thought it was over, right? I was like, wait.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, how are they gonna wrap all this up? Um I stopped watching because I don't know. I just kind of fell off the bandwagon.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I held on for so long. A lot of people were like, oh, yeah, Walking Dead is losing its touch, and da da. And I was like, okay, maybe a little bit, but I could not let go. And now I'm floating down the river.
SPEAKER_04Who knows? I mean, uh I had to let go to the maybe your favorite character, Eugene, becomes like the king of uh shut the fuck up. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02Why they still have his stupid ass on there. I'm over him.
SPEAKER_04Well, pardon the slander, but uh believe. Yeah, I don't know. I thought they would have killed him off by now. They needed to.
SPEAKER_02So there's I mean, the first time we saw him on the screen, they should have just shot a dart through his head or something. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Goodness, wow.
SPEAKER_02Have the fucking walkers eat his ass.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02And Buffet.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. Eugene Buffet.
SPEAKER_02Now, my just real quick side note. My favorite character is Negan.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_02Inside and outside of the ring.
SPEAKER_04Anyway, there was a uh chess robot that grabbed and broke a finger of a seven-year-old opponent.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Now let's get into that too. Where do we start with that?
SPEAKER_04I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I mean That fucking what's that movie, Will Smith before he uh uh suck a bunch of uh the old Slap Ahoe Nation.
SPEAKER_04Isn't it like iRobot?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, where the robots took over.
SPEAKER_04I think so.
SPEAKER_02That's not far-fetched. How did this robot know to break this child's finger?
SPEAKER_04But now what did I never saw that one because what did the Oh I didn't either.
SPEAKER_02I just figured that all the robots took over.
SPEAKER_04I th I don't know. No, I think I saw it, but I don't remember it because it just I don't know if uh I don't know if he's yeah, supposed to like he's part of like the stopping AI coalition or something. Yeah. And then the robot says something like GI Jane 2. And he's like you say, stop fucking with humanity.
SPEAKER_02Keep humanity out your fucking mouth.
SPEAKER_00Keep it out your fucking mechanical mouth.
SPEAKER_02And then he hits it and it punches him back and kills him.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That would have been a good movie. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Jesus.
SPEAKER_04Um now, okay.
SPEAKER_02So How did it know though to break like why'd it grab his finger? It shouldn't be grabbing anything. It's a fucking robot.
SPEAKER_04Well, uh, a chess playing robot grabbed and broke the finger of a seven-year-old boy during a match at the Moscow Open last week. That's probably. That sounds like a problem. That's probably why, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Was the boy a Ukrainian? Is the question.
SPEAKER_02Now, uh oh shit. Well, I don't know. Here's a problem too. Why are why do we have time to play chess over there when it's uh a fucking madhouse?
SPEAKER_04Right, right.
SPEAKER_02What what's what is this about?
SPEAKER_04Well, not in Russia. They're they have time to play chess and wrestle bears and because they're not the ones that are, you know, getting attacked.
SPEAKER_02Isn't Ukraine attacking back?
SPEAKER_04Uh maybe. Well, I guess they're just defending their own territory.
SPEAKER_02They're not maybe they're just bombing themselves because they don't realize what they're bombing anymore. I don't know. Well, somebody should have dropped a bomb on this goddamn robot.
SPEAKER_04I guess, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, uh that's amazing. The seven-year-old knows how to play chess. And what the robot was pissed because the seven-year-old was kicking his ass.
SPEAKER_04Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02I don't get that. Like, why did it even grab the kid?
SPEAKER_04I don't know, but there was a let me see what this says here. So uh, the robot broke the child's finger. Sergei Lazarev, president of the Moscow Chess Federation, told the news agency after the incident, adding that the machine had played many previous exhibitions without upset. And then he says, This is of course bad.
SPEAKER_02I read that part. I'm like, you think, Sergei?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, fucking sear gay.
SPEAKER_02I like that impression. That was very good. Thank you. I felt like I was in Russia right now.
SPEAKER_04Okay. But without like the danger and the danger and the bear wrestling and the and having to wait in line for bread for eight hours. Oh, okay, okay. Awesome. Okay. Yeah. Well, just miss step right over here. I have a nice this is the wheat line, the rye. Vanderbread. We have what are you all feeling like today?
SPEAKER_02Whatever's left, because what are they doing? You want to be healthy, and maybe some spelt flour. Um my God. It's like, what?
SPEAKER_04So I don't get it. Yeah, so that happened. And well, it's people keep saying that that's gonna happen with like AI, you know, taking over and being crazy and shit.
SPEAKER_02I think there's some truth to this for sure, because thank you. We were just sitting in the uh the moonlight.
SPEAKER_04We were just sitting in like uh Russian moonlight. Uh-huh. And then I said, let there be light.
SPEAKER_02Like, you know, like we were like held up somewhere, like in the like icy mountains.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_02And we're like reporting on everything that's going on, but you can't find us.
SPEAKER_04You will not find us. You will not find us. We are from remote location.
SPEAKER_02We come to a life from a remote location. From a remote location.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_02But uh, what are we talking about? This is why you don't do drugs kids. Oh my goodness. Shit.
SPEAKER_04Oh boy. Um, yeah, people are saying that it's going to uh it's bad for like humanity because they think that like uprise. Yeah, but it's they can only do what they're coded to do, what they're programmed to do.
SPEAKER_02But the thing is, is how did it grab this kid's finger?
SPEAKER_04Because Vladimir Putin fucking programmed it? Yeah, probably. Or it's probably just him, and he probably just put a bunch of like pots and pans on his body. I'm ready for chess.
SPEAKER_02Okay, time for chess.
SPEAKER_06And the kid's like, you're my opponent, uh, Mr. Prime Minister. Mr. Robato Putin? Yeah, Mr. Domo Regato. Mr. Putato. And he's like, no, it's not me. I'm Robot.
SPEAKER_02I'm not that scary, like, stinky looking lemur. He has like a very weird, like lemur looking face. That's true.
SPEAKER_04That is true. Get it a look at it. He has a classic, he has that classic look of like dirty, evil lemur face. Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like it jumps around, jumps through the forest and shit, or the jungle. I don't know where they live.
SPEAKER_04Oh, kind of like Zabumafu.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Okay. What?
SPEAKER_04Have you did you ever see that show, Zaboomafoo?
SPEAKER_02What the fuck is that?
SPEAKER_04It's an old show on like PBS kids that it was a not a lemur, but like a something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, it's Zaboomafu. It's a Zaboomafoo for sure.
SPEAKER_04It's a no, it's like uh it's like that animal that's it's kind of like a monkey, but it's like gray, black, and white with like yellow eyes, and it like jumps around, and like two white guys follow, and they're like, wow, look at it go. That was the whole show.
SPEAKER_02Listen, I can proudly say I never saw that show.
SPEAKER_04Good for you.
SPEAKER_02And but it sounds exactly like something Vladimir Putin would be. I think Subuma Fu.
SPEAKER_04I think so. I think he was the I think he was the animal and the two guys that were chasing it. Yeah. He just played like multiple parts. He had to. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because, you know, PBS, I don't think they pay anything. So No. It's not a knock against you, PBS. If you want to use me for voice work, sorry about that. And if you don't, well, Subuma Fu sucked.
SPEAKER_04What about your other favorite on that show on that channel, Caillou? That's that's another one that you just you love.
SPEAKER_02Fuck you.
SPEAKER_04We started at Caillou and then we we Tarantinoed it to fuck you.
SPEAKER_02I'm just kidding. Wow. No, Caillou, I never understood that. Uh I know a lot of kids enjoyed Caillou, but I don't, I I just didn't we look it up the one time and it's supposed to be like an androgynous. Uh it's not supposed to be a boy or a girl. It's supposed to be like it's supposed to fit in with with all children. And like all I don't I don't know. I don't know how to even describe this, but yeah, it's supposed to be like uh do you remember the first time you ever heard of Caillou? I do it was on a cold day in November. Probably like, I don't know, 2000, somewhere in there. And uh I'm like, Caillou, what is it? Then I saw the little character and I'm like, but what is it?
SPEAKER_04Right. I remember reading this meme about Caillou, which if you don't know, it's uh it's a little bald-headed child that's an asshole to its parents and its sister, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. I thought it was like a nice little boy that was sickly or something, you know.
SPEAKER_04No, and actually that's it from the from the meme that I read that it's not, it's he does not have cancer or any other See.
SPEAKER_02I thought maybe he was trying to relate to like six.
SPEAKER_04He doesn't, but the meme, somebody I or uh it was some kind of like search that became a meme, like somebody Googled it, and somebody said somewhere. That Caillou, it's not that he doesn't have hair because he has cancer or anything like that. He doesn't have hair because even his own body, even his own, even his own body recognizes that he sucks and he doesn't deserve hair or food or blood.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's terrible. It is, but I mean it's But if he's an asshole, then that's probably true.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_02I guess I never really watched the show then. I didn't know it was going to be.
SPEAKER_04You are twice chopped.
SPEAKER_02Twice over. Lucky.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_02No uh Bambaba Fu. No. Zimbabwe.
SPEAKER_04You got no Zimbabwe. You got no Caillou. You just you lucked out of it.
SPEAKER_02Now listen, there was back in my day on PBS, not a whole lot. You know, you had your um you had your reading rainbow.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02With that cool guy that would read and shit to you.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You had um Sesame Street, and then you had Mr. Bean.
SPEAKER_04Oh, they would show him too.
SPEAKER_02They would show him.
SPEAKER_04You're kidding.
SPEAKER_02Now that that's when I learned about Mr. Bean. I thought it was the funniest shit. Yeah. Because this guy would like do fucked up shit, but he'd be like, oh.
SPEAKER_04Oh my God.
SPEAKER_02He wouldn't talk. He would just anywhere he would go, like fucked up things would happen and he would just walk away. And if he didn't realize it was happening, he'd be like, oh yeah. And run away.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Now that I enjoyed.
SPEAKER_04Similar to Zabumafu, I gotta say.
SPEAKER_02So, but would two white guys follow him around?
SPEAKER_04Uh yeah. Like two like British, like uh oh yes, what does this gentleman up to?
SPEAKER_02What does this odd fellow up to? Oh how good one has to be followed.
SPEAKER_04Do you remember you remember Arthur?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that little weird thing I remember too, like the little weird bear, right? Uh I guess he's like a bear or something. Or he's like uh see, that's another one. I don't really know what I'm looking at.
SPEAKER_04What would he, yeah, what would you categorize that as? Like a bear or like uh like a bear has ate my clothes?
SPEAKER_02I don't give a fuck. Get back to your fucking tent.
SPEAKER_04No, but Donnie, a bear has eaten my clothes.
SPEAKER_02Get the fuck back to your fucking tent.
SPEAKER_05Can I come in?
SPEAKER_02Get the fuck out of here.
SPEAKER_00Fucking Bruno.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, for those of you that don't know, Sasha Baron Cohen, and Bruno.
SPEAKER_00Fucking Bruno.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say, you know, we tangent a lot and we also bring you other hilarious movies. Like that one. Uh, I think we referenced it. Was it Team America?
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, fucking actor. By the um by the South Park guys.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yeah. How about we both fucking yawned? This is what happens when you get older, kids. All right.
SPEAKER_04Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02Don't get older and let me find you drugs the night before.
SPEAKER_04What I'm gonna do is um I'm gonna find you, Zaboomafoo.
SPEAKER_02I really wish you wouldn't.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I really wish I would.
SPEAKER_02Wait, we need to circle back to this poor child that got his finger broken by a fucking robot.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Of all things.
SPEAKER_04Would you rather have your finger broken by um a robot or by Zaboomafoo?
SPEAKER_02All right. So um because uh just passed. This is listener land, Bobby has pulled up on his Google or whatever this is, uh the character Zaboomafoo. And I just I don't know.
SPEAKER_04What's your first instinct?
SPEAKER_02What's uh well let me see.
SPEAKER_04So the one guy looks like it's that with two white guys.
SPEAKER_02Yes, so it's this weird character that's clearly a puppet and two odd white guys with their hands up its ass.
SPEAKER_00Who are both puppets, yes.
SPEAKER_02That also look like puppets. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02Can you imagine? So, okay, you're working as an actor, or you're trying to, you're trying to like get into the biz, right? You finally land an agent, and they call you one day. You know, you're waiting tables, you're you're bar backing, you're taking all these shit jobs. So you're like, I believe in my craft. I will find a fucking gig. Your agent calls you, and they're like, buddy, uh, Muppet fucking head guy. Listen, I found you an awesome, awesome gig.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02And the guy's like, fuck. You know, he's on his break. He only has like like five minutes, you know. He's like, oh man, yeah, like I'm I can quit all this fucking bullshit. He's like, well, what is it? You know, am I gonna be like in a soap opera? Uh no, not not quite. Uh like a TV show. Maybe I'll have like, you know, uh a little roll or something. Uh oh, maybe a commercial, you know, like a syndicated commercial that everybody says, uh it's it's kind of a kid's show. Oh. Uh all right. Oh, look at it like a Sesame Street? Yeah, or like a Nickelodeon. Great, you know, that's that's fucking good money there. No, no. Uh, it's called Zaboomafoo.
SPEAKER_03Come again.
SPEAKER_02And then you just hear, like the guy hung up. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I would have been like, okay, I'll just keep waiting tables and making drinks for ungrateful celebrities.
SPEAKER_04It's it's a boomafoo.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm just not interested in it. Oh, okay. I just have no desire.
SPEAKER_04Oh, look, he's like in uh uh suggestive pose. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like if his legs are open, his legs are a kimbo. Uh huh.
SPEAKER_04His legs are akimbo on a kid's show.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so I don't even know what uh okay, uh everybody in Listener Land, look up Zabuma foo.
SPEAKER_04It aired, Cass, from January 25th, 99 to June 7th, 2001.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, though. What a waste. See? A world probably should end in 2000.
SPEAKER_04Oh, uh it was a creation of the Kratt brothers, Chris and Martin. I guess those are the two guys that yeah, it's those two. Yeah, oh yeah, look. Oh, they look like Siegfried and Roy here. They're there for listener land. It's two guys, it's the picture that's on their Wikipedia.
SPEAKER_02And now what happened? Okay, they stayed up late one night after, you know, ripping a couple bongs and eating funyans. And they saw that old white guy that's like stands like with the, you know, the African children's like, you know, please donate seven cents, you know, a month or whatever the fuck.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02So they're like, oh my God, why don't we start Zaboomafu and we could help those kids.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. You see, I don't understand how Zabumafu was aimed. I don't know how Zaboomafu was supposed to help those kids.
SPEAKER_02Or they could help them for two years, but maybe the profits from like the sponsors of the show went to those children that needed shoes and actual clothes.
SPEAKER_03Maybe.
SPEAKER_02Or, you know, they're like these, you know, really nice white people that go to Africa to help.
SPEAKER_04And so there is, there was uh Jovian. Um what? Yeah, I don't know what you're saying.
SPEAKER_00Jovian.
SPEAKER_04Take my fucking phone.
SPEAKER_02I don't want it, please, God. So I'm pulling up, so I was on the Wikipedia and I'm pulling up.
SPEAKER_04I pulled up the uh that was it wasn't the actual name of the lemur that they I mean they used a puppet, but then they used Jovian, which is Cassidy's.
SPEAKER_02And this little motherfucker was an Aries.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I'm gonna read this to you.
SPEAKER_03Go ahead, please.
SPEAKER_02Jovian.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02Lemur. Uh Jovian, born April 5th, 1994. Oh, he had a good life to November 10th, 2014. Wow. He lived 10 years.
SPEAKER_06I was a little older than Jovian.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, a little bit.
SPEAKER_06Wow.
SPEAKER_02You and Jovian came up together. Wow. School of heart knocked with Jovian. Struggle. He uh Jovian was a cockworld's Sefaka Lemer. Why? He said that.
SPEAKER_04Now you've lost me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Huh?
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Is that a what?
SPEAKER_02Okay. Best known for portraying the title character in the children's television series Zoboommafu.
SPEAKER_04You don't gotta put that much like witch doctor on it. It's just Zoboomafu.
SPEAKER_02This asshole, he had a whole name. Jovian Marcus Kendall.
SPEAKER_04This asshole put some respect on Zoboomafu.
SPEAKER_02No, I gotta put respect on Jovian.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_02What? Oh, he died in North Carolina.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02He was born in North Carolina. I thought he was born in like the fucking jungle.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_04Did he die from a kid trying to put it?
SPEAKER_02Probably finger's butthole. Oh. Because that's what the children there do. I was told that one time. You're fucking kidding me. To parents Nigel and Flavia. That's who he was born to. What? I I'm just not interested. Anyways, if you want to look this up, go ahead, have a laugh. But yeah, Zabumafu actually is uh See?
SPEAKER_04So it wasn't uh No, I think that they had a I think they had a puppet, but then they also use like Jovian.
SPEAKER_02And it does say they would interchange uh him and his father Nigel.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's kind of weird and cute.
SPEAKER_04Well, that's a lemur because you said something like a little bit ago about a lemur.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like what to fuck.
SPEAKER_04Like what to fuck a lemur. It's like a uh Jovian is like a um an island island billy.
SPEAKER_02Island hillbilly.
SPEAKER_04You like island hillbilly.
SPEAKER_02That stick finger on the dog.
SPEAKER_01Like stick the finger in the asshole, you know?
SPEAKER_04Let your father Nigel get in on that.
SPEAKER_02Come on, let the Nigel get in.
SPEAKER_04Jovian speak pigeon.
SPEAKER_02Fucking Jovian pigeon. He had a whole fucking name.
SPEAKER_04I don't know how we got here.
SPEAKER_02I don't know either. But we need to like pump the brakes and throw the shit in reverse. Right.
SPEAKER_04You know, there's a video of a podcast out there of these two women talking about how, yeah. You're gonna wish we went back to Jovi.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna wish we were still on fucking Jovi and Marcus Kendall. There's the worst name ever. Anyways.
SPEAKER_04Was that his full name? It was. Oh, I didn't even see.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I told you this motherfucker had a whole name. Born to Nigel and Flavi.
SPEAKER_04I just don't even get it. Anyway.
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I thought you were kidding when you said like the when you took the phone and you were like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_02I'm not that sly and clever.
SPEAKER_04Well, yeah, you are. But the No, I was really reading that. Oh my God.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's for real. For real. Because it's the truth. Yeah. So these two broads, Bobby, uh, enlightened me.
SPEAKER_04I saw it on Instagram, unfortunately. Yeah, yeah. These two broads. Go. Would you like to?
SPEAKER_02Would you no? You go ahead.
SPEAKER_04So these two, these two women, um it's on a podcast. We have the name.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, maybe we won't say it, but it's so it's another, it's a fellow podcast.
SPEAKER_04They talk about how Lyme disease is a gift. Is it's not a disease, it's a gift that's like from it's an ancient gift that gives you like special powers and you could talk to aliens and stuff.
SPEAKER_02And it's like interstellar and inter what'd that bitch say? It's like, yeah, it's like this amazing gift that's given.
SPEAKER_00Stop it.
SPEAKER_02It's like, wait, wait, you're talking about Lyme disease that makes people sick, and it's like, how is that a gift? And the one fucking ding bat, well, and it's not for the faint of heart.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, do you have Lyme disease, bitch?
SPEAKER_04Well, that's what you make makes your fucking heart faint is this fucking Lyme disease. I don't, yeah, I don't get it at all. I don't get it.
SPEAKER_02I just like how are you gonna be out there talking about that? You know, that this disease is a gift.
SPEAKER_04Well, it what makes it really, really dumb is the if it wasn't dumb already.
SPEAKER_09Yes.
SPEAKER_04The fucking the clip that these two were talking about, it like it just the woman that's like giving like the the main uh info on it. Yeah, it just seems like such a fucking, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Oh, she's a fucking dim whip. Yeah, we got a ding bat and a dim whip. But you know what? Let's reenact that a little bit. Let's do a little play. So we will we'll give to you the gist of this uh this clip that we're talking about.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02All right, so uh ding bat bitch. Um this whole spin on Lyme disease, some people say it's bad, but I I personally believe don't fucking laugh. I personally believe that it's a gift from Mother Alien Nature.
SPEAKER_05Is it Mother Alien Earth is coming to bless me?
SPEAKER_02Absolutely, absolutely. And some people will say that's horseshit too, and it's fucking not. Okay. I'm gonna let you in a little secret. One day I was laying up in the bed, okay, all by myself, legs of Kimbo, if you will, and I saw this big light shining in the backyard. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I I know you're surprised over there. The aliens came off the ship, like they just fucking guided themselves to my bedroom.
SPEAKER_05Wow.
SPEAKER_02Yes, as I was reading up on Lyme disease, legs of Kimbo. I had fucking candles around all that shit. And you know, soft music playing. And aliens came in, and they gave me the greatest gift of all.
SPEAKER_05What?
SPEAKER_02They deposited Lyme disease in me.
SPEAKER_05Wow. And okay, where did they deposit it?
SPEAKER_02Through my asshole.
SPEAKER_05Oh.
SPEAKER_02Like most aliens go for. Oh. The asshole. Yes. Yeah, it turns out those people, they've got a thing for assholes.
SPEAKER_04The reception spot.
SPEAKER_02But that's exactly how this podcast went down. Yeah. Okay. Uh I would say look that up. Look up that clip. I've been two idiots, Lyme disease. Probably come up.
SPEAKER_04I mean, you could look it up or you could not. I mean, it's just you have like great freedom to do whatever you want.
SPEAKER_02You know, and that's the beauty in life. You have freedom. Yeah. Choices. You have cho everybody got choices.
SPEAKER_04Nope.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yep. To nope. Yeah. I would say stray away from these kind of things. Because it's just a fucking waste.
SPEAKER_04And they're they're not kidding. They're getting away.
SPEAKER_02These bitches, this is not. I didn't feel like how I felt watching the rehearsal, where I wasn't really sure if this is for real or not. No, these bitches are for real.
SPEAKER_04It can't be satire. They're just they're really yeah. It's like what?
SPEAKER_02It's an intergalactic gift.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. It's where they put uh monkey pox in your ass.
SPEAKER_02And Lyme disease.
SPEAKER_04And Lyme disease.
SPEAKER_02So you got a little bit of everything.
SPEAKER_04Oh my God.
SPEAKER_02I the bitch was like, I used these two limes like benoit balls, okay? And they floated around in there and swirled around and shit. And it's a real fucking gift.
SPEAKER_04Oh.
SPEAKER_02And the other one's like, ah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02She's like salivating. Like she said, I strongly believe it. Jesus is a gift. And I wish more people would feel that way.
SPEAKER_04Now, okay. What would you what would you rather listen to? That those two talk about how Lyme disease is something positive. Or would you rather watch Zaboomafu with the crack on the Oh.
SPEAKER_02Uh huh. You know, I don't like when you give me either ores because they're both pretty bad. That's okay.
SPEAKER_04You gotta pick one, though. You gotta pick one.
unknownFuck.
SPEAKER_02I think I'm gonna go with Zaboomafoo. There you go. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Because I those bitches, I just can't. I just can't. I mean, neither. Really, I'm not I I don't want either.
SPEAKER_04But we gotta pick one.
SPEAKER_02If I had to pick one, Zebumafu. There he is. Of my list. Well, at the top, buddy. Fucking Jovian Marcus Kendall.
SPEAKER_04There you go. So we have uh there was a guy here that now.
SPEAKER_02Yes. This story, okay. It's just, it's something else. This story is like how and why, who, what, when, where, why. Um and I wish I would have thought of it first, to be quite honest with you. Because I think this motherfucker's still out. He's on the loose, honey.
SPEAKER_04He's enjoying that money. So I think they might have uh I think that they might have found him, but so a man pretended to be a health inspector to steal from some restaurants here in town. Yes. Now, okay. This guy, okay, and and the footage that they have of him is like perfect footage because he looks like right at the camera.
SPEAKER_02He looks right at the cameras, like he knows where the cameras are at, and he's like, bam, staring at it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He's like, please catch me.
SPEAKER_04So a random guy walks into your establishment with a fucking uh just like with a clipboard and a pen. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And there there's like um stick figures on it that he drew.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And he's like, hey, I'm here to check the health and safety standards of your restaurant. Now, where's your safe? It's like, wait, oh, okay, hang on, hang on, hang on. So you came here to check to make sure that we're upholding, you know, the safety and standard, you know, for the health district here in Las Vegas, Nevada. So you need to be like looking at the fridges and temperatures and like the food and everything, right? Why do you need to go to our safe that has the money in it?
SPEAKER_04You see, that's that what? And he did this in a couple of different ways.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and the fucking people working at these restaurants allowed him access to the safe.
SPEAKER_04It makes you wonder like, was he friends with some people there? Like, must have been. Or it just I I don't get it.
SPEAKER_02I don't get it. Like, did he cut these people in, maybe on some of the money? I but he couldn't have I mean, how fucking stupid are you?
SPEAKER_04We're just touching on a bunch of different topics that just don't make sense.
SPEAKER_02Zero sense.
SPEAKER_04These cunts with their fucking Lyme disease zero episode.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_02You know, the robot that breaks the kid's finger. That makes no sense. Uh, what else did we talk about?
SPEAKER_00Jovian. Fucking Jovian. I'm just gonna fucking Jovian, not to be confused with fucking Joey or Jovi from 99 VR. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's another train wreck. We're just gonna give you all the bullshit tonight.
SPEAKER_04All the fucking boo the fucking booty.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't understand how. I mean, never before, never before has a health inspector come in and said, take me to your safe.
SPEAKER_04Why would they need to look at the money?
SPEAKER_02They wouldn't. The fucking They would never there's nothing perishable or edible in the fucking safe or that you would use for consumer consumption. So why why would you take the guy to the safe?
SPEAKER_04I just imagine well, I just imagine the guy walking around like the dining room of wherever these restaurants were and just like picking shit off of people's plates and eating it. It's like, hey, what the fuck? Like, oh no, I'm gonna go.
SPEAKER_02I gotta try this. I'm the health inspector.
SPEAKER_04Oh, please go ahead.
SPEAKER_02So this motherfucker, you're exactly right. So how about he's stealing money right for for survival to live, but he's also he's getting free meals. Oh man. Because he's walking around and he probably had the people like pack him fucking de go plates. No. He's like, I gotta make sure this food is still good four hours later, okay? You need to pack me like a box with everything. Okay. Yeah, put them chickens in there, extra fries, extra sauce too. I need to make sure that the sauce is good if it sits out.
SPEAKER_04Could I just get like two additional meals, like just like this, ready to go? I just I have to make sure I take my job very seriously. I'm a professional, as you guys know, even though I didn't show you anything. Obviously.
SPEAKER_02And this clipboard is empty. It has nothing on it. I just have a clipboard and a pen.
SPEAKER_04See, but that's easy for her. We both know working in like food service.
SPEAKER_02Food service, yeah.
SPEAKER_04That it the the health uh people can just pop up on you at any time.
SPEAKER_02At any time.
SPEAKER_04And they could look like anything, but they're supposed to have some like fucking identification.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they should have identification and uh they shouldn't be doing sketchy shit like going to the safe. They should be checking the hand washing sinks, they should be checking all of your refrigerators, your freezers, making sure everything's in temp, whatever foods you have in, you know, that nothing's past expiration, that you have things on the right shelves, you know, like you can't put raw shit above fret shit. Like they there should never be a question that, okay, um, I gotta see the safe. And then for the people working there to be like, Yeah, come on back. Yeah, come on back. Yeah, let me just open this for you. And I'm gonna leave you there too, so you could take shit out of it. Oh and then this motherfucker, yeah, there's one of the uh still frames they got of him. He's looking right at the camera, like right in the corner, like, hey, Jesus. Hey, assholes, look what I'm getting away with. And no disguise or anything, you know, like I would at least wear like a wig and like fucking must a moustache and glasses or something.
SPEAKER_04You know what he should have worn? Uh I'm gonna hit you with something else that you uh you know what he really should have worn. He should have worn uh insane clown posse face makeup to fucking conceal his identity. Because I mean he was just walking up in there to fucking do anything anyway.
SPEAKER_02Anything he wanted, yeah. Yeah. I mean, as long as he's wearing like business casual clothing, that's fine.
SPEAKER_04What if he did what if he did roll in there though, like a juggalo?
SPEAKER_02Oh shit.
SPEAKER_04You've heard of that whole and I've seen that shit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't get it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Shaggy Too Dope and that other motherfucker. I'm not yeah. Yeah. I know the shit.
SPEAKER_04Why do you know his name? Oh, don't ask me questions.
SPEAKER_02And I forget the other fucking cracker's name, but anyway.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god, Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_02Who's the other guy?
SPEAKER_04I don't. I don't you're asking me. I don't fucking know. Do I look like I just came from a gathering? Like, come on.
SPEAKER_02You're asking me, what? Huh? Listen, you just proposed going in there looking like the insane club. Yeah, because if you don't know their goddamn names.
SPEAKER_04Because I just remembered that I I was going to bring it up later on in the episode, but I I it just popped in my mind. It just popped.
SPEAKER_02I'm fucking joy in over here.
SPEAKER_04It just popped in my mind that on the fucking, for whatever reason, on the YouTube homepage, uh from like watching like cringe compilations.
SPEAKER_02These motherfuckers pop up.
SPEAKER_04They they will a fucking gathering of the juggles pops up. And like people will like bring like their like microphone and stuff, like interview the people, uh, you know, interview the truck and juggles.
SPEAKER_09Sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Well, I mean, yeah, it's uh quite the Yeah, the gatherer. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So when you said like, you know, yeah, he should have concealed his identity by fucking uh uh by dressing like uh like a piece of shit with all that makeup on and like the guy fieri fucking shitty blonde hair.
SPEAKER_04There was a yeah. Well one has like guy fieri and then the other one has like bald fieri. Right? One is like spy like one of those crackers has spiky, spiky blonde hair. Yeah. And then uh the other fucking fucking loser.
SPEAKER_02I got something else, yeah. I guess. Is that still a thing? Aren't those guys like in their 60s now? I mean, how about let's gather around maybe like the old age home now? You know, we're getting to the point where you know it's gonna, we're gonna have to lay down soon. You know what I'm saying? Not get up, you know what I mean? Start gathering around some like walkers and wheelchairs. Maybe like gather around a place and assisted living place.
SPEAKER_04Jesus Christ. Well, their whole from the from the video that I saw of the guy going, I forget the guy's name on YouTube, but he went in and he talked to all these juggalos. I they were all talking about like how like everybody, everybody is accepted there. And it's all about family.
SPEAKER_02No, it's not. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then it's like the worst family.
SPEAKER_04Well, yeah. But and then if you're walking by uh you're walking by a hillbilly and they say, show me your butthole, then and if you're also a hillbilly, you gotta spread them. You gotta spread them. Yeah. And then, oh, do you know how do you know how um do you know how they say hello to each other?
SPEAKER_02Woo, woo. We know it's woo, woo. Oh my god. Don't ask me how I Jesus Christ. I've never been to a fucking gathering, but listen, I know because uh our Lord and Savior on the he's the king of all media on the great airwaves. He, you know, he really Oh, did he have them on? Oh yes, but wait, wait, let me give my tribute real quick.
SPEAKER_05Uh uh.
SPEAKER_02He broke the mold for us, right? Like he was the first one to be crazy on the radio. I mean, like really crazy and let it all. And that's why we have this now. That's why we're able to do this because he he really fucking like paved the way for a lot of us that are breaking into the biz. But yeah, he had those guys on many moments ago. And I listened to that interview, and that's how I know uh a lot of that shit because they talked about it, they talked about the fucking gatherings and all the crazy people that yeah, yeah. So I learned there. Oh I just I yeah. I don't know how we tangented on that, but oh no, no, no. So that way the guy, the health ins the health inspector, and I say that in quotes, yeah, could be uh yeah, he could dress up as a fucking juggalo. I I don't get any of that.
SPEAKER_04Well, apparently they didn't come up with the name, the uh shorty two stroke guy, Guy McGee.
SPEAKER_02And Guy McGee Fearing.
SPEAKER_04Apparently they didn't come up with juggalo, they just like and for the okay. Give us some people have no idea what the fuck this is. So give us uh uh give us your interpretation of what exactly this is. We've talked about this for a while.
SPEAKER_02Uh huh. I don't even fucking know.
SPEAKER_04Okay. That's a that's the exact that's that is the right answer. That's right. Somehow that is correct. Ding ding ding ding ding. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02No, they yeah, the Insane Clamp Aussie, those guys, they wear makeup almost like the guys from Kiss. Yeah. It's like black and white makeup.
SPEAKER_01Um but they're like a rap group.
SPEAKER_02But they're yeah, but well, like like rap and like uh grunge kind of mu I don't even fucking know how you would say it. But all their people dress weird, like that go to these concerts, the juggalos. They dress like like like late 90s, early 2000s, uh punk rock kind of kids. Like with those big like Ginko jeans, the the JNCO, like where the the bottom of the jeans is like really flared. Uh there's a certain type of dress these people wear. And some of them look like Harley Quinn.
SPEAKER_05Oh.
SPEAKER_02It's like get fucked. Go fuck yourself. Please.
SPEAKER_04Well, they need to be able to identify each other to see who's down to clown.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna flip this tape over now. So the podcast over. Oh shit. It's just a disaster. If you're unfamiliar with insane clown policy, look them up online because it's just I don't even understand it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Uh and on his show, too, on Howard's show, one of his guys that works on staff, you know, one of the interviewers, went to one of the shows and interviewed the people that go.
SPEAKER_04Oh, really?
SPEAKER_02And they're just a bunch of fuck-ups. They're drug addicts. Uh well, at least all the ones they interviewed.
SPEAKER_04It was the video that I saw was was hard to see. Yeah. It was hard to watch because I'm sure it was. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And these girls are like, yeah, fuck me in the parking lot. You know, they get fucked by these fat losers that go that dress up like the group. I, you know, I just, wow. They're getting fucked by dumpsters and the parking lot. Um, yeah, it's just disgusting.
SPEAKER_04They're doing by the dumpsters or in the dumpsters both.
SPEAKER_02Uh they're getting drugs shuffled up their ass, every orifice, drinking. They're just they're just people that probably should have been aborted.
SPEAKER_04Oh my God. Wow.
SPEAKER_02It just knocked.
SPEAKER_04It's kind of like an abortion convention, though.
SPEAKER_02Which we need to keep this legal, everybody. Sorry. But uh watch a video of juggalos, okay? And you tell me if abortion should be legal or not. Okay? You'll change my reading.
SPEAKER_04Well, that's their whole thing. I think that they would be in favor of it because that's their whole thing. It's like freedom of they they accept everybody.
SPEAKER_02It doesn't matter if you want to uh But I'm saying the people who are against abortion, you watch the videos, okay. If you're a conservative that, you know, you're pro-life. Watch these people living their life. You're gonna be against life. You understand? Trust me, it's just not it's very hard. These people are not adding anything to society.
SPEAKER_04I mean, just like they put uh this this lady was in a group of guys, and I think um it was a long video. I think it was I think she might have been pregnant and and fucking drinking and smoking and like hardcore.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, disgusting.
SPEAKER_04Not not not having like tiny little sips of of a drinking a whole bottle of jack. Yeah, yeah. And punching herself in the stomach.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and letting them all her.
SPEAKER_04It's like I don't care, I do what I want. Whoa, woo, woo.
SPEAKER_02And it's usually a lot of hillbillies, like, sorry, it is what it is.
SPEAKER_04It just I can't.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't get it. I don't get it.
SPEAKER_04How do you even like I was thinking though, like for those guys, the shorty pea fresh and the goo, their names just get they're getting fucking worse and worse. Stingy P minor and Jermichael. I don't know. I don't know their names. I don't know their names. I could look it up, but I'm not.
SPEAKER_02No, don't even soil your computer with this.
SPEAKER_04I don't understand. Like, even if those guys like made so much money off of doing this for all these years, like I wouldn't I wouldn't want to like be outside and like have like those people yell woo-woo at me. No, you know, like because you can't, even when they wipe off the makeup, it's like they're still the fucking clown guys.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they're still the fucking clown guys. And I and I no interests. And I and I and I no interests.
SPEAKER_04I just right, like I just I wouldn't like the the money wouldn't even be worth it at that point. I don't want to be the fucking one of the two part fucking clown guys. One of two clowns. God, God bless them, you know. Juggalo Jesus bless them.
SPEAKER_02But at the same time. Juggalo Jesus. Uh yeah, somebody uh bless them because uh I don't even know. I don't I don't know. It's just a disaster. I I don't get it. I don't know. Well, I guess. And if you do understand it and you are into that out there, drop us a line.
SPEAKER_04We say that, we say that on every episode. Drop us a line.
SPEAKER_02Drop us a line. Yeah. Go ahead. Tell us uh tell us why you're into that shit. Yeah, please. Please give us uh uh open our minds to this because I I just don't fucking get it. And why does everybody follow these two idiots, these two fat hillbillies that got up on stage with makeup and you know they're the they're the grunge uh like yeah, the grunge rap superstars.
SPEAKER_04The street version of Kiss.
SPEAKER_02I don't I don't like it. Oh I don't like it. I don't think I like KISS that much. Oh, to be honest with you. Oh goodness.
SPEAKER_04Wow. Well, I mean yeah and then they're loaded.
SPEAKER_02I like their music. I do.
SPEAKER_04KISS? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean they they have to be around for that, but it's like again, we got four ugly guys to put on makeup. Yeah. You know, and they can accomplish anything. They take the makeup off. It's like, whoa. Whoa, whoa! I just I don't know.
SPEAKER_04But everybody's accepted at a gathering. Nobody is a nobody is a stranger, everybody's fancy.
SPEAKER_02Are questionable people?
SPEAKER_04Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02I've watched the videos of these people, I've seen the videos, listen to interviews of these people that go to gatherings.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And it's like, huh? How what? What what do you mean?
SPEAKER_04Apparently they have they do have like more like mainstream people. Like uh, I guess um uh oh uh Gilbert Gottfried was part of one. One of the yeah, he he performed like years ago, of course. Oh shit he performed at one of those.
SPEAKER_02I can't imagine how those hillbillies like no, they loved him.
SPEAKER_04Did they love him? They loved him, yeah. Really? How could you hate Gilbert Gottfried?
SPEAKER_02I know, but look, they probably killed him. He's dead now. Oh terrible. It's probably from going to one of those fucking gatherings that did him in.
SPEAKER_04Maybe.
SPEAKER_02Maybe he's like, he was just fine before.
SPEAKER_04I was just fine.
SPEAKER_07Then the clowns got me.
SPEAKER_04They realized I wasn't down with the clown. I don't know. I uh I would never. I would never I don't know. You would have to, I don't know. I just that there's like not an there's there's not enough money in the world to like get me to go to that.
SPEAKER_02No. Unless if we yeah, unless if you offer me like a billion dollars, I mean I'll dress up and shit. Unless I mean punch me in the stomach.
SPEAKER_04But that's why these people were going there in the first place, like above. To abuse the pregnant woman. Not that. Not quite that. I mean, maybe some of them had that intention. I don't know. But they bring their cameras, their microphones, and they go uh and interview these people. Interview these wackos because it's such a gold mine for material. You could turn it, you could spin in three 360 degrees, and no matter where you land, go and interview that person. Yeah. And it's a fucking gold mine.
SPEAKER_02It's a gold mine. I mean, and and the shit you think let's put on. No, these people are serious. When you ask them, like, oh, you know, like what are you up to tonight? Like, what do you do with this? Yeah, these fucking assholes. Yeah, and they're, I mean, getting stoned out of their mind or doing, you know, heroin, cocaine, whatever they're doing. Yeah, the one girl fucked up.
SPEAKER_04The one girl, yeah. She said, uh, you know how we do it? We do a little bit of we, a little bit of heroin. Like in her drink, like in her drink, though. She's like, whoa, whoa.
SPEAKER_02Oh gosh. Yeah. I thought, isn't heroin with a spoon? What is she doing with a drink?
SPEAKER_04Uh she spooned it and that's like a ghetto like uh tea and crumpets instead of putting like honey from fucking organic honey in your green tea. Yeah, organic heroin.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah. Anyways, we digress. If you're not familiar with these clowns, you need to go and look them up because it's very it's just bizarre.
SPEAKER_04You don't have to do anything.
SPEAKER_02But you should. You should go. You should is a very I use it loosely. I mean you should do this, but if you don't, that's fine too.
SPEAKER_04It's fine.
SPEAKER_02I'm fine.
SPEAKER_04So you recently took another trip.
SPEAKER_02Yes. This bitch, I've been like a traveling queen. And I know my sweet Vanessa, she doesn't listen because we get dirty, but I know her husband, Kyle does. Shout out, Kyle. Hi, Kyle. Yo, yo. So we're gonna talk about uh the trip. So I won't uh bore you too much, but you'll be like, you fucking bitch, you gotta go on this trip, and here we are sitting listening to you. And you know, maybe some of you haven't been on the trip, but here's where I tell you seize the day, seize your life. If there's a trip you've wanted to take, do it, make it happen, make it work. Life is short. I mean, look, we have robots breaking children's fingers, we have juggaloes, yeah. Life is short. Get out there and party.
SPEAKER_04Jovian again.
SPEAKER_02Again. Jovian and his family on that weird stupid fucking show. Anyways. So my good friend Vanessa, my sweet, my sister. So she decided to take an awesome birthday trip down to a yoga yoga retreat. Spoiler alert, we did no yoga, down in Mexico, and I decided I was gonna go surprise her.
SPEAKER_06Aww.
SPEAKER_02I know, I know, yeah. And I only had a few details of the trip. So I was really praying that she was down there because I'm like, well, what if last minute she decides not to go and I fucking go down there and here I am like an asshole. I'm here to surprise my friend. They're like, who? I'm like, oh fuck. So yes, so fly down to Mexico. This resort I went to uh is super secluded. You have to take a boat from the marina. So you you get off the plane, it's very hectic. You fucking get a taxi, finally get a taxi, yeah, takes over the marina from the marina, take a boat to this resort 45 minutes. Oh crazy. And the boat, you're thinking, oh, like this nice, luxurious. No, it's like a fucking dinghy. Oh my god. That's rocking around. The thing sounds like it's gonna break. Uh-oh. I'm like, okay. Full of juggalos? Yes.
SPEAKER_00Whoa, whoa.
SPEAKER_02There was two juggalos on there. Oh my god. And not the main guys. Crazy P.
SPEAKER_04Oh, gee.
SPEAKER_02Oh, gee. So so get there to the resort, and I see um Vanessa's friend and her mom, and I see Vanessa nowhere around, and I'm like, yes. I'm like, oh, maybe she's in a restroom or something perfect. I could surprise her.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So most people don't know, or if you do know, that's good. But if you don't know, Vanessa and I, we connected many moons ago over Howie D of the Backstreet Boys. So that's where our friendship began. We both had a picture of him and our bind in our respective binders. Wow. And it's like, wait, you like him? You like him? Oh my god, let's be friends. And we did. Speaking of Howie D, his birthday was yesterday. You're welcome. He turned 49.
unknownOh, okay.
SPEAKER_02So you never know. You might need, what if that's like a random trivia fact? You might be on the rehearsal somewhere down the road. You need that.
SPEAKER_07No, thanks.
SPEAKER_02Everything ties into you there. So I brought a picture of Howie D, and I told Vanessa's friend, I said, Oh, go give this to her and say you found this, you know, like down here in the common area. Now this beautiful awesome, right? It's a beautiful resort. It's everything's all outside. The room's everything. And um so we're in the communal area, like where everybody meets to eat. And so yeah, she, her friend went up to her room, and she comes down, you know, and it was just lovely. It was wonderful. Surprised her, wonderful. So here we are at this yoga retreat. Now I knew all the rooms, they're like bungalows that are like set like in this jungle, which we found out it's not a jungle down there in Mexico. It's called a something rainforest. So it's very jungle-like, but it's more of like uh something rainforest. I can't remember. A juggalo rainforest. A juggalo rainforest.
SPEAKER_04Or the rainforest that's the boombufu. Everything is sided together.
SPEAKER_02Everything comes together. You see juggalos, the boombufu flying around the trees. It's great. So Vanessa, her friend, and her mom, they all had rooms that were opened up like to the fucking jungle.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Like there's no wall that's like facing like the ocean. It's open. So like anything can come in your room. Somehow, I don't know how I did it because I thought I was getting one of those rooms, which when I got there was like fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I don't want a room like this because it's super humid and there's fucking bugs everywhere. Oh, fuck. And it's crazy. And supposedly they have like a version of like a was it a raccoon? No, not a raccoon. A um is it a raccoon? No. They have a version of something down there that steals your food. It's kind of like a raccoon, I think. I don't know what they call it, but so like, oh yeah, like sometimes those come in the room and oh don't don't be afraid of them. What? I don't want shit running around in my room when I'm trying to sleep. Yeah. So somehow I scored this room that had a closed like enclosed by like a glass door.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_02And air conditioning. I was like, oh thank God. But it wasn't totally enclosed. There were still like little holes, you know, like in the room, like at the top, yeah, where things could get in. Oh. And they did. I'll get to that. And around the bed is this netting. Now you sleep in the netting so that way, you know, like you don't get bitten up by mosquitoes and shit. No, things still get up under that netting. Like the one night I hear something like plopping around and I look, and it's like this little beetle. And it's got like that hard, like shell, so it's like plopping around. And I'm like, rah, and I fucking like flick it. There you go. You know, and then I'm like basically like tucking myself in this netting, like trying to tuck it around me so nothing gets in.
SPEAKER_05Oh.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I I didn't sleep well because I'm like, Oh my god. I'm like, Vanessa, you've been she went to this resort before. Why would you want to go to this resort again?
SPEAKER_04Now, after you flick the beetle, as it was like falling to the earth, was it like all we are sick is a chance?
SPEAKER_02And then I stepped on it. Oh no.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. Like well, you did it less dirty than uh Yoko Ono. Put it on your boat.
SPEAKER_02I like that guy that killed John. So it's not too soon. Oh my god. No. Shot and killed in like, I don't know, 1980s.
SPEAKER_04Was it? I don't know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02We're like 1970.
SPEAKER_01I think I think that he got shot probably around 19 that's fucking happening.
SPEAKER_02Okay, we'll go with that. Sure. Jesus sucks. Listen. So, okay, the first night that I'm there. Oh, here's the other thing too. They got steps for days because this is like a healthy retreat. Oh. So you gotta go up all these like steep steps to get to your room. Oh. And I'm like, who the fuck wants to do yoga here after going up all these steps, up and down all these steps? That is yoga. That is the yoga my dear. So first night I'm there, I'm like, okay, all right. This doesn't seem too bad. Like, at least it's kind of closed up. And now, you know, it's dark and it's like pitch black out. And the lights they have in the rooms is like. Little one watch Aww. Sweet little one watch. So at one point it's getting later, and I'm like, I'm avoiding it as best I can. I'm like, don't go pee, don't go pee. Usually I have to pee before bed, right? A lot of people have to do this, right? The natural thing. I'm like, don't go pee, don't go pee. Because it's like it's dark over by the toilet area. And I'm like, I don't want to turn on the light and like see anything scatter, or I was like fucking freaking out. So okay. I am like, okay, I can't hold it any longer. I'm gonna piss this fucking bed. Let me get up. Let me get out of my fucking netting. So I go and I like turn on the light and I'm like looking around. I'm like, okay, I don't see anything move. Like, I'm like looking everywhere. I look like a fucking bobblehead at this point. I'm like, you know, my eyes are just like, if anything's flying or if anything got in, like, I'm just holy shit.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So the toilet area is separate. Like, so it's like enclosed. Yeah. But but the top is open. All right. So it's got walls, you know, that are, you know, it's got a door. But the top is actually open. Okay. So I, you know, I open the door and I'm looking around, you know, I'm looking by the commode. I'm like, all right. And all of a sudden, I see in the corner of the little area, the toilet area, this giant fucking roach, like one of those flying ones comes crawling out, and I'm like, yo, motherfucker. And I slammed the door and I'm like, ah, I'm like, what I do, what I do, what I do. So the shower area is separate. Now it's next to the toilet, but it has its own walls and its own door. And almost looks like one of those like ones that's like outside. It's got like this cute like wood floor. And so I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna piss in here. I'm not dealing with that. I'm not gonna have that thing crawling up on me. Oh when I'm I gotta go. I gotta go. So I piss in there and I'm like, all right, whatever. And then I'm like, okay, I don't want to cuddle with this fucking bug tonight. I gotta do something about this. Okay. It's like maybe after midnight, I'm like, there's nobody to call. I'm like, I gotta do something about this. I gotta put on my my big girl panties, I gotta do something about this. So again, I go to open the door. And I'm looking, you know, and I'm like, I don't see this fucking thing.
SPEAKER_05Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_02And I'm like, okay, maybe it went back. Maybe it went back in its little fucking crevice it crawled out from. I'm like, okay. And so I close the door and then all of a sudden I see it's like on the top. It crawled its way to like the top. And maybe the top of the wall was maybe four to six inches, maybe above my head.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I could see it, you know, like it like its feelers crawling around. And I'm like, oh you motherfucker. So I take my fucking flip flop, my chonkla, for those that know what the fuck that is. And I start fucking beating this fucking thing. Like my life depended on it. Jesus Christ. And I'm like, and I, you know, I'm having a hard time because it's a little bit above my head. So I'm just like fucking like smacking whatever I can. I'm like, I'm gonna smack this motherfucker. So I sped, I mean, I swear I was there for like a minute and I'm like Jesus. Fucking whacking this thing. So then I don't see it up on top anymore. I'm like, oh God, I hope at least like I stunned it and maybe I could like smash it with my foot. So again, I open the door and it's like on top of the fucking toilet seat. But it's dead. It's dead. I like fucking. You beat the fuck out of it. I beat the fuck out of this thing. And I just like whack it off the toilet and I run back to my my sanctuary. Then the next night, okay. So we're doing all this awesome stuff, you know, like hanging out. No yoga though, the yoga retreat. We do this ice bath, which is really cool. I've never done one of these before, but I do recommend if you have a chance, or just fill up your fucking bathtub with ice and hang out in there. First, though, you gotta do like breathing meditation. Oh. And that gets your mind ready for this crazy shit.
SPEAKER_00Oh.
SPEAKER_02Then you get in, we were in there for like three minutes a piece, and then at the end you like dunk your whole body in. It's so rejuvenating. You feel so fucking good.
SPEAKER_04Wow.
SPEAKER_02And then we jumped in the ocean. It was just, it was divine.
SPEAKER_04So wait, you were just in the ice for only like three minutes.
SPEAKER_02Only three minutes. Now that doesn't sound long. No. You're sitting in that motherfucker.
SPEAKER_04Oh man, you can't you can't sit too long on that.
SPEAKER_02Well, I think that's why the guy was the guy that was like administering it was like the longest is three minutes. Yeah. He's like, you can do well, he says, if you really feel you can't do it, of course, get out of course immediately.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But try to at least stand for one minute and then jump out. And he was telling you, you know, every step the way he was right alongside the tub, and he's like, Okay, you're at like 30 seconds, one minute, one minute 30. So that we have it in your mind, like, okay. Yeah. But yeah, we each stayed in for the three minutes, which was really fucking cool.
SPEAKER_00Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_02So that and then we went on this really cool hike, which the that guy who was out of the hike, oh, it's a quick hike. It's it'll be easy. It'll be easy, easy, easy. Jesus Christ. No, it wasn't.
SPEAKER_04Everybody that takes you on a hike says that. Yeah. Doesn't matter if it's it's uh fucking somebody that's trained to do it, or because it's easy for them and they've done it.
SPEAKER_02They know the fucking route. They know. But for that unsuspecting guest, it's never done it. It's like like we asked him, could we do it in our fucking chanclas, our flip-flops? But down there, they fucking say chunkla. So like I say, oh yeah, it's uh it's gonna be quick, you know, to the waterfall. Oh yeah, easy. No, it wasn't easy. He lied. Oh fuck. Then he's begging for tips at the end. Oh my god. Well, maybe if you would have told me to go get my fucking uh not my chanclas, my my uh run run shoes, ronklas, maybe it would have been easier and you would have gotten tipped.
SPEAKER_04Jesus Christ. What was this man thinking?
SPEAKER_02He wasn't.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. I hope nobody tipped him then. Somebody tipped him.
SPEAKER_02Listen.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I I just You should have been like, here's a tip. Woo whoop.
SPEAKER_02Here's a tip. Don't fucking lie to us. And have my ass run up 300 steps to go get my fucking running shoes. So I could run away from this experience. So that night, okay, I go up to Vanessa's room and we're having fun. Me, Vanessa, her friend, you know, we're taking fun pictures, da da da. But at this point, now it's getting dark. Starting to get dark. And it's like, shit. I'm like, I better go because I'm not gonna be able to see. Because there's no light like in between all the rooms. It's when it gets pitch black, like you're like in pitch black in the fucking jungle out there, or whatever fucking rainforest they said. It's not actual jungle. I learned this on my my hike. So one other thing I learned too, gotta put this out there. One of the things we walk past was an oregano plant, fresh oregano.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_02And the guy was like, you know, one of its healing powers is if you have a really bad earache or an ear infection, you take fresh oregano, you ball it up and put it in your ear and you sleep with it for the night. And that drains your ear. Yeah. Your kid naturally, yes. Oregano. Well, uh yes, a fresh uh oregano leaf.
SPEAKER_05Really?
SPEAKER_02Bunch it up, put it in your ear. The next day you wake up, you're fine.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you have no earache, no ear leaf. I never knew about that.
SPEAKER_02Never knew about that. I'll have to try that shit. Yeah. I was like, fuck, I'm gonna try this. It's amazing.
SPEAKER_05Wow.
SPEAKER_02The guy was cool though, yeah, on the hike, like even though he fucking lied to us. He pointed out a lot of cool shit. A lot of um, he even like grabbed fruit off the trees. Like they had fresh um passion fruit. Yeah, he fucking cut that motherfucker open with his like little baby machete knife. And we fucking ate some. Yeah, I was like, fantastic. Wow. I was like, yes, huh?
SPEAKER_08Wow.
SPEAKER_02But he was cool, he had like a lot of cool insight, a lot of cool info. So I'm like, all right, you were deserving of a tip, I suppose. So second night, yes. So I tell Vanessa said, Oh, I better go. And she's like, you better get going because you know it gets dark and scary. So all right, I start my descent to my room. And I'm I go down this first uh like flight of steps. I'm like, all right, okay, all right. You know, I'm looking around too because there's just jungle shit just hanging all over the place. So I'm like, oh my god, like I'm like freaked out because I don't want anything to fly at me. Like we kept seeing like this giant like moth, but we weren't sure if it was a bat or not. Oh my god. And I'm like, I don't want the shit to fly at my face. Like so I go down to like walk down the second set of steps and on the second step, I see this giant fucking spider that goes like crawling across the step and like goes underneath.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then all of a sudden I see the snake like come out. Like, you know how motherfuckers like summons a snake out of the basket with the fucking flute? That's how this thing, it was like coming up, like moving its head back and forth. I'm like, fuck no.
SPEAKER_00Nope.
SPEAKER_02I was like, Vanessa, I hate you. She's like, what's going on down there? I was like, ah, I was like, there's like a plethora of freaky fucking shit. Like there's a giant fucking hairy spider, the fucking snake. I ran so fucking fast back to that room. Like I was like speed lightning. Like fucking I mean, and I'm screaming, and she's and now her room, of course, is open. She could hear me from up where she was, down where I was at. And I'm like, oh my god. So it was lovely. Okay. It was it was a lovely experience, and I loved being with Vanessa and her friend and her mom, but I probably would not go back.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02I do not like bugs, I don't like sleeping in fear of something crawling on me or biting me. And of course, we did get mosquito bites.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Unfortunately. I didn't get as bit up as I normally do, but because I did douse myself. I brought like that off stuff. Good. And I bathed in it like nightly. Even when I went to bed, I was just like, I was like, shh, like all over that. So that fucking shit was like it's like some axe body spray too.
SPEAKER_04I'm telling you.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I use it like I was one of the club. I use it all over me. Like bam, bitches are gonna find me, you know.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they're gonna find me because I got all this spray on me.
SPEAKER_04Come here, hoe. Come here, girl.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I could have been in like a uh an axe slash off body spray commercial.
SPEAKER_05Wow.
SPEAKER_02So lovely. Again, all the food was wonderful. Everybody was so nice and wonderful there, but the uh sleeping, you know, the accommodations is crazy as fuck. I don't, I didn't like it. Because I was scared.
SPEAKER_04I'm like, well, having a beetle like plop by the body. Oh god.
SPEAKER_02I was just like, and then shit, like you would like roll over and like maybe, you know, in the middle of the night, you would like kind of open your eyes and see like shit on the outside, like holding on to the net.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_02And I'm like, oh no. Like, I was just like, okay.
SPEAKER_04Too many fucking bugs there.
SPEAKER_02It was just too much. And I mean, extremely humid. We were dying.
SPEAKER_04Now, would you rather spend a week in that in that place?
SPEAKER_02Or mumbo jumbo? Week in that place.
SPEAKER_04Oh no, I wasn't gonna go mumbo jumbo. I was gonna say a fucking uh juggalo gathering. Oh one one one hour of a uh one hour of a gathering, right? And you have to walk the whole grounds and you have to talk with like at least uh a hundred people.
SPEAKER_02Or I'll go back to the resort.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay. Absolutely not.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I know. Wow, I'm not interested ever in juggalo anything. Oh god. A hundred people. That's terrible.
SPEAKER_04In well, okay, you probably won't be able to do that in an hour, but no, probably not in an hour. Okay, like 20 people. And you have to you have to walk around, you gotta talk to these people. No, okay, no, couldn't do it.
SPEAKER_02Looks like my ass is going back to the bug and festive resort. That's it. Got to go. Like Bruce Lee. I got to go. Wow. Wow. But how about I was handsomely rewarded. Yes. I was supposed to leave, so I came in on a Friday going up on a Friday. Came in on a Friday. Yeah. I was there Friday, Saturday, and set to leave Sunday night. Now Vanessa and Co. they had earlier flights than me.
SPEAKER_08Okay.
SPEAKER_02So they left before me, but we all went to like the marina where you take the the uh taxi back to the airport. So I was like, you know, I'll hang out at the marina for a while and then because they had shops and like all this nice things to check out. And there was also a shopping mall that was in walk walking distance. So I said, oh, you know, I'll just hang out here until it's my time to go to the airport. So, you know, I'm hanging out, you know, and then I go over to the shopping mall and I'm by myself and I don't care. Like I'm just fucking gallivanting, you know, and using what little fucking Spanish I know. Were you like now?
SPEAKER_04Real quickly, were you like blanco blanco?
SPEAKER_02Never like pit bull your hair? Yeah, yeah, casual. Blah blanco. Panty. Absolutely. You know me. I was just like fucking like and I'm dragging my suitcase around. It's like tumbling and bumbling. And I'm like, come on, you motherfucker.
SPEAKER_09El motherfucker. El motherfucker.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm gallivanting like whatever. So, okay, go back to the marina, catch them a taxi, over to the airport. So I still have like a few hours right until my flight leaves. So, but they have shops in there, and I'm just kind of like chilling, whatever. And and I re-download um Among Us on Play and I'm like, So, yeah, because I was desperate for entertainment. But you know, I'm like, ah, fuck it, you know. So, how about I'm sitting there and I get an update through text message about my flight?
SPEAKER_10Oh.
SPEAKER_02And it says, okay, like, you know, your flight has been moved from 620 to like 730. And I'm like, well, that kind of sucks, but okay, whatever. So I'm sitting there, and maybe half an hour later, I get another text, and it's like, your now 730 flight has been bumped to 820. And it's like, eh. So yeah, it's like I saw the fucking uh manzan and uh, which yeah, I didn't see too much of that fruit. Uh you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay. That's a scarce fruit in that. Oh, wait, not fruit.
SPEAKER_02Is it a no, no, it's not a fruit, it's a vegetable. Oh I didn't see too much vegetable. Yeah, it's a very scarce, yeah. Uh I don't think manzan gets along with uh fashion fruit that you know what I'm saying. Anyways, so that's code, but if you know, you know. If you don't, you don't. So then now I start thinking at this point, I'm like, should I go back to ticketing? You know, the ticketing counter be like, let me hop on my fucking flight sooner because now I'm I gotta sit here for like five hours. Like, no. So shortly after I get a text that says, your flight has been canceled. Go and see the ticketing counter. And I'm like, you matafakas. So I'm like, all right, and I walk, uh it's like a good, like a solid 30 minutes from like where my gate was back to the ticketing counter. So I'm dragging my motherfucking bag. I'm like, this is some bullshit. So I get back to the fucking line, and there's a bunch of people, because of course we all got the same text, right? So we're waiting, waiting, waiting. Then we find out, like me and several of the people, we cannot get out of there till the next day. So they say, Don't worry, we're gonna put you up. And I'm thinking, you know, there's so many of us online, there's probably about like 50 of us that were displaced at this point. And it's like they're probably gonna take us to some like fucking ratty-ass motel. It's probably gonna be probably bugs in it too, just like my last one.
SPEAKER_07Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02So I'm like, oh fuck. So we all finally, like after all is said and done, it took like a good hour and a half to get everybody situated. We hop on a shuttle and they take us to this beautiful fucking resort. And I'm like, wait a minute. Are they gonna put all of us up in this place? Everybody, we all got sweets, we all got wristbands. It was all inclusive. All you can eat, all you can drink, alcohol included. Wow. All the amenities were available. You can go on the beach, you can go hang out, like in their spa. And I, you should have seen me. Soon as I there was a nice man brought me to the room, showed me where it was. He goes, Oh, the beach is just like a few steps outside. I motherfucking threw that suitcase on the goddamn bed. I fucking ripped it open. I'm like, I'm digging around for my fucking swimsuit. I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna let this motherfucking opportunity pass. There you go. This ship brought me back to life. There's no bugs in here. I got air conditioning, I got free meal, I got a free drink. I'm just like, uh, I was like an hog heaven. So my ass, I throw on the swimsuit and I'm trying to pull it up my fucking, because you know, it's so humid down there. It's like 90 degrees, but like 190 humidity. I do a meal. So I fucking throw on my swim. I'm fucking running up and down the beach. I go and get myself a drink, and I'm like, ah then I find out like where I can go eat. I get my wristband for that. I'm like, blah blah blah. I go to the fucking one bar, I go get another drink.
SPEAKER_04Oh my goodness. So it's a good thing that you're doing.
SPEAKER_02Honey, I was living. I thank God I missed the flight because I'm like, and I kind of wanted to miss it again and be like, ooh, I don't know what happened. Whoops. And again, live the good life off American Airlines dime. But that was my handsome reward for being so scared and shit uh in those open rooms.
SPEAKER_04Oh man. Yeah, you seem like you you persevered and you get, you know. Nice. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So even though I missed the flight, it was well worth it. Wow. And you know me, I took all the I took everything I could.
SPEAKER_07Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, all the opportunities that they gave. I'm like, yes. Oh, we can do this and this. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Hey, you know what? It was their fuck up.
SPEAKER_02It was their fuck up. And it was so funny in the one bar. So I bumped into some of my fellow comrades and we're talking. I told them already, like, now it's we'd been there for a few hours already. And I said, Oh, yeah, I went to the beach, I got a drink, I already had dinner. They're like, damn girl, it was this couple. They said, damn girl, you fucking did everything already. I said, Don't let this fucking moment pass. You gotta get on it.
SPEAKER_04Get right up in there.
SPEAKER_02You need to like, you know, take well advantage of this. Because I'm like, uh, when are we gonna get this opportunity? That's true. And I popped up the next day. I went and had breakfast. I had me a fucking drink.
SPEAKER_04There you go.
SPEAKER_02I mean, listen.
SPEAKER_04There you go.
SPEAKER_02It just is what it is.
SPEAKER_04There you go. Yeah. Well, hey, you know what?
SPEAKER_02I'm glad that they at least tried to do right by you guys because it was amazing because I've had a flight canceled before. And like the hotel was okay, but they didn't cover food or anything. That was through Air Canada. And uh, you know, it wasn't this kind of experience. Like I was really shocked that they did that for all of us. Because I'm telling you, when I say there was probably a good like 50 of us, there was probably, and if not more, I mean, there was a ton of us that were uh got that same message that we could not leave until the next day.
SPEAKER_05Wow.
SPEAKER_02And um, and you know, everybody was going to like different places. So some people left early in the morning, some left in the afternoon, some left a little bit later. Um, but it was crazy that they actually, and I thought, well, a few of us actually talked, you know, even on the bus, like the shuttle bus going to the uh when we left the resort to go back to the um the airport. Uh some of us were leaving around the same time. And uh me and this lady we were talking, she was there with her family, her husband and her kids, and we're like, you know, that had to have cost a lot, like to put everybody up.
SPEAKER_04For about 50 people, you said?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Or if I'm telling you, if not more, like there was a lot of us. I'm like, because they needed a few shuttles, you know, and I mean we were all packed in there like sardines. And uh, I'm like, holy shit, like, and how many times does this happen? It couldn't have just been us, you know. So it's like, do they have some sort of contract with this resort where this is and it's it's a good maybe I don't know, 10, 15 miles uh from the airport, this resort. Wow. So they drove us, you know, it was a little bit of a drive. And I just thought, wow, I mean, they could have put us up anywhere, but like this was an a really nice place.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I I'm like, wow, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_04I'm glad though, that yeah, that's oh.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it was really fucking cool. I gotta say.
SPEAKER_04You really got your uh, you know, I got the fucking money's worth. There you go.
SPEAKER_02You know me, Bobby. I will, and even though I was tired, I'm like, fuck tired. I'm throwing that right to the wind. Throw it right behind me, kick it out, kick it away.
SPEAKER_04There you go. Like that beetle.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like that beetle that I fucking stomped.
SPEAKER_04There you go. Wow.
SPEAKER_02That's been a lovely, lovely podcast.
SPEAKER_04Beautiful.
SPEAKER_02And now my next trip, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02I'm going to Nola. Oh my god. Pretty soon here. So for my girl Ronzetta.
SPEAKER_04Uh huh.
SPEAKER_02So she's gonna be getting married, and we're gonna do her bachelorette party there.
SPEAKER_04Wow, you have just been like a fucking globetrotter.
SPEAKER_02I'm a goddamn traveling queen.
SPEAKER_04I thought it was all that you brought a basketball with us to Portland. Isn't that funny? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I was spinning on my finger. I'm like, yes, Bobby, I got a few more trips in me. Wait a minute there. What are you doing? Hey, I figured, you know what? Life is short. We don't know. Whatever trips, whatever things we can take, we gotta do it. Whatever fun we can have, because you just never know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I'm gonna be at the fiery gates of the pearly gates, and they're like, Do you regret anything? No.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02What's the next step? Oh, wow. I'm ready. Oh. I lived a good one. Oh my god. Let's go.
SPEAKER_07Oh my god. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So my PSA, pull up my soapbox, blow the dust off of. I want you all to know out there, go and live your life.
SPEAKER_04Live your life.
SPEAKER_02Live your motherfucking life. Do what you can. I know times are tough. Things are getting more expensive. Life is not getting any easier. And it never will. So if you have any time or even as a little bit of monies to go and enjoy something. Even something as simple as taking a drive to the next town or the next state and going to do something, go and motherfucking do it.
SPEAKER_00Fucking do it.
SPEAKER_02Don't regret anything.
SPEAKER_00Enjoy your life. Enjoy your life. There you go.
SPEAKER_04Thank you. Wow. God bless. Beautiful. As always, thank you very much for listening to us.
SPEAKER_02Thank you, everybody. It's been a wild, wonderful ride of episode 29.
SPEAKER_04Please share us with your friends or not. It's fine.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's fine. But nobody share us. And drop us a line. Don't be shy.
SPEAKER_00Don't be shy.
SPEAKER_02Come say hi. Come say hi.
SPEAKER_00Or come say, woo, woo.
SPEAKER_02Oh shit. Definitely don't say that. All right. You can if you I mean, it's okay. It's funny.
SPEAKER_04As always, this is Bobby. This is Cass. And we will see you in the next one.
SPEAKER_10See ya for dirty. Dirty. Dirty dirty.